Can You Breathe?

George Floyd lost his life because a police officer put his knee on George Floyd’s neck for 8 mins or there about and in the process George Floyd lost his life. This is classic example of misuse of power by people in the position of authority that we have entrusted our safety to. The police as they say is our Friend but that has been the reverse for so long.

Bringing it to our homes. As a parent are you allowing your children breath or are you choking their potentials out of them? Abuse of power also occurs  in the way we handle the gifts God has given us. Neglect is a form of abuse that a lot of parents do even without knowing it is neglect. When you neglect your child because you have to make money, it sends them the message that they are not worth your time. When kids see themselves as being unworthy of your time they feel unworthy of being themselves and this makes them also unable to blossom they way they should. They are unable to breathe!!

Some times as parents, we need to check the kind of words we use on our children and our actions all in the name of discipline. Not all discipline is positive.  Some are detrimental to the development of these children. Are your children free around you? Can they be themselves around you? Can they fail and learn from their failures around you? When you bribe teachers for your children to pass exams like W.A.E.C or J.A.M.B it’s also abuse. You are indirectly saying you do not believe in their abilities, hence they don’t belief in themselves. This also chokes them from achieving their potential. When you force them to study courses they do not want to study, or marry from a particular tribe, it’s all choking.

This is a wake up call to all parents. When you get home ask you children;     ” CAN YOU BREATHE?”

In your marriage can you breathe? Some people have committed suicide, and some have murdered their spouses because they were unable to breathe within the walls of their marriage.  Your marriage is not expected to be all rosy as no one is perfect, however you are expected to enjoy your marriage and not endure it. It’s re-evaluation time!! Can your spouse be free and comfortable in their own skin within the marriage? Or is the marriage prison to you or them?. Does your spouse or you have a say in your home when it comes to decision making? Are they carried along at all times? Have you relegated your spouse to the position of a house help or an errand boy because you are the sole provider?  Do your friend’s and your family have more influence over your marriage than your spouse? How have you influenced your spouse to become a better version of themselves? Can you or your spouse Breathe?

Statistics have shown the increase in domestic violence on both men and women, increase in divorce rates in marriages over the years, and an increase in people who are still married but have some health related issues due to emotional trauma. All these stems from the fact that people held in high esteem to cherish one have decided to abuse the power given to them all in the name of “I AM THE HUSBAND!” or “I AM THE WIFE!”  or “I AM THE BREADWINNER!!”  Re-evaluate your marriage for your good and that of your spouse. Sometimes re-evaluation might lead you to working things out and breathing better. In other cases it might just be time to get out and breathe. It’s all up to you.

The work place is where we spend 8 hours or more of our day. If the work place is toxic, it will definitely affect you several ways. If your spouse and children cannot breathe at home there is an 80% chance  your subordinates and colleagues might also be choking because of your actions or inaction. As they say charity begins at home. On the other hand, if the work place is toxic, it could be affecting your spouse and children. You see how our home and workplaces can affect one another through us.

Do you foster your subordinate’s growth within the organization or you plot their downfall? Do you challenge them to achieve more? Do you challenge them to be the best version of themselves? What kind of relationship do you have with them? If you stop being boss today would you still be respected for who you are and not the position you hold? Would they be thankful they ever met you? Can they trust you to be truthful no matter what? Do your subordinates feel you don’t have their best interest at heart? What kind of a leader are you? Do you ensure they are treated fairly? Could they stand up for you behind your back? Do you stand up for them behind their backs? Do you micromanage them every step of the way? As a mentor are you a TORMENTOR? What kind of policies are in place within your organization? Are they policies that enslave staff or policies that make the staff, and entire organization flourish. Remember your best assets are your people.

Don’t get me wrong, I also do know that there are different types of employees and different management styles to be used in different situations, but that does not remove us from being human in our dealings.

As a leader if you do you best to ensure your colleagues and subordinates can breathe then your legacy lives on forever. This is food for thought. It’s time for a re-evaluation.

Do you try to look better by telling tales about your fellow colleagues to the boss? This we see in a lot of organizations where divide and rule system is in play. If you are this type of colleague you are no better than the one Derek Chauvin!! Why do you use your power to bring down your colleagues and call it rat race!! Someone has been promoted in your organization and instead of congratulating, you go about spreading rumors about how the person was a snitch or how the person slept around to get it, or how the person is related to someone. If you do this, you are choking others. It’s bad, its toxic and it will come back to hit you hard because what goes around surely does comeback around.

Whoever you are, its your turn to answer the question “CAN I BREATHE?” Are you being micro-managed? Are you being harassed in any way? In the department or organization you find yourself in are you able to flourish? If you are unhappy going to work everyday then you are being choked. If a boss keeps talking down at you at the slightest provocation then you cannot breath. You might just be choked out of your potential. If you are being harassed in any form in the workplace then you cannot breath. You need to re-evaluate the situation and ask yourself “HOW CAN I BREATHE?”

As the world is being woken up by events around the globe, we also need to be individually woken up. The change you want to see starts with you looking at the man in the mirror.

Tell me what you think.